Melrose Bar & Grill - 8826 Melrose Ave., West Hollywood, CA 90069

I really don't have anything interesting to say about this place, because you know what? I liked it. It's a friendly, attractive little bar and restaurant with an excellent menu, accommodating servers and just a decent vibe. Though the bar area was crowded with patrons, I'd recommend Melrose Bar & Grill more as a place to eat and drink rather than just drink, because that way you get to sit at a table and the food, as I've mentioned, is worth the cash. A good place for a chill date: not so fancy that you'd feel self-conscious about how you're dressed or anything like that, but nice enough that your date wouldn't feel in any sense insulted. More of a quiet, adult crowd than a lot of area bars.

As for drinks, they had a menu of wines and classic cocktails, but I didn't really examine either, instead checking for their beers. They only had two on draft, but two is plenty when they're Bitburger and Craftsman 1903 Lager. Justin had just recommended the Craftsman 1903 Lager to me the other evening, and it is indeed one of the best beers I have ever tasted. Bottled beer selection included a respectable range of Belgian ales, from Dupont to Lindemans Framboise Lambic, but who cares, you can get those in stores. Craftsman 1903 Lager, on the other hand, is only available on draft and only in the Los Angeles area, though I imagine that will change in the future; for now, it's one of those rare discoveries that makes you honestly proud to reside in this city. I plan to visit Melrose Bar & Grill again sometime soon and get so drunk on the stuff that they kick me out and ban me from the premises and I don't have to worry about being tempted to drink so far from my neighborhood in the future.

- Simon B.

The day after we posted the Redwood Bar review... Justin's came down the pike

I've been to a few bars in downtown Los Angeles and my experiences have been pretty varied, but they had many aspects in common: the bars were typically totally professional, had deep selections of beer (or in the case of Seven Grand, whiskey), and were frequented by crowds of horrible douchebags reeking more of Wall Street than Los Angeles. So I headed to the Redwood with some reservations, which ended up being unfounded because the reservations I ended up having were totally different.

The service at first seemed so non-existent that I made a beeline for the bar, desperate for a drink, when our server ambushed me en route and asked me what I wanted to drink. From that point forward she stopped in to check in on us every few minutes, chatting us up about random shit like our middle names and the like. Unlike service which is often considered "pleasant" at other joints I've been to, this was completely genuine, the sort of which you tend to only get at bars pitched halfway between "complete, scary, gaping maw of a dive" and "middle class".

I had two pints of Craftsman Hefeweizen, which is the best of its kind I've ever had. This wasn't the first time I'd tried it, but it may have been the best pint of this beer that I've ever had. The selection aside from that seemed to be a little run-of-the-mill, just slightly better than average. Guinness, Bass, Boddington's, Pabst, and a couple more that I can't remember. A little help, fellas? There was a Craftsman 1903 on tap as well, but they were out.

The menu looked pretty good, but I wasn't hungry so I just stole some fries from Evan and Simon. Thumbs up to both types (regular and sweet potato). The burgers looked good. I liked the seafaring decor, which wasn't too overbearing. The crowd was pretty sparse (maybe because it was Cinco de Mayo and everyone else in town was sucking down margaritas at El Cholo or partying on Oliveras St.), which was a plus.

The problem with this place, at least on this night, was the shitty bar bands they had occupying the stage for most of the night. The first one was some roots-rock nightmare, coming off like bad Mellencamp or Tom Cochrane (you know, that "Life Is A Highway" jerk). The second act was acoustic blues, and it was totally inoffensive and much quieter. I really don't like live music at places that are not advertising themselves as performance venues, for two reasons: usually most people there aren't looking to hear live music, and all-too-rarely do such places have a separate room for such events (one positive mark for the otherwise awful Molly Malone's). This is why I also tend to despise karaoke bars. But that's just me.

I would go back to the Redwood, despite my reservations. The food was reported as being good and I did like the service. I would just make sure to return when there's no balladeers braying onstage, and I also hear that it's really packed on the weekends. Fuck that.

El Chavo - 4441 W Sunset Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90027

(this blog comes from friend Elana, who actually has her own music blog which you can check out here: http://payingmyownway.blogspot.com/)

ELANA'S TAKE:

Mexican Restaurants dot the landscape like liver spots on Elizabeth Taylor; there's so many around LA that they blend into the background. What makes one stand out from another 3 doors down the street depends on some unique charm that makes them stick out over and over again. Like having a good bar. And with fluorescent sombreros tacked on to the ceiling.

El Chavo has apparently been bought and remodeled by Melanie Tusquellas, the owner of the Edendale Grill in Silverlake. I do admire the fact that they tried to keep the bar in pretty much the same condition as the 'old' one. Although, in trying to make it into a larger bar, they've only succeeded in stretching it out slightly, and up. Why up? More room for the black light sombreros?

Anyways, for this being my first post here, I'm going to try to stick to a formula for getting all my information out, without going off on a tangent and forgetting to actually write about the bar.

So...PROS:

· Cheap and tasty liquor. That should be a priority for anyone who likes to go out drinking on a more than social basis. Total bill was $20 for 3 Coronas and a shot of Casadores. They also boast, and by boast I mean other patrons have raved and I personally like, a strong ass margarita. The drink itself being somewhere around the 5 dollar mark, you can toss a couple back and make a night of it. Their liquor selection is a decent size, and they offer more than tequila.

· Friendly staff. There was 3 waiters/bartenders (they may possible share duties, I'm not sure) hovering around the bar for the hour or so we were there. I'm almost pretty sure these are the same guys who've been there since I started coming a few years back. Older dudes, the kind that could make you your drinks in their sleep, and also know that you should be drinking your beer out of the cold glass they just got for you and not straight out of the bottle like a jerk. Sorry guys. They will entertain you in conversation briefly and aren't put off by questions. And showing how accommodating they really could be on the night we visited, they were totally ok with us switching out the card for the tab to another person in our party. For some reason I appreciate the lack of questions in doing things like that and just like the simple answer of Sure, go ahead and do that.

· Free bar food. And not crap free bar food. No urine smelling peanuts here. Just chips and salsa, brought to you when you sit down, and refilled without asking. Their variation of a salsa roja may be a bit too spicy for those of you who like your Mexican condiment more on the mild ketchup side, but for me it is perfect. You get a decent cup size of salsa and the chips are fresh.

· Atmosphere. I am only now just learning the name of this place. For a couple years now it was just known as, "That bar with the black light hats on the ceiling by the Vista". And it's the kitschy niche in the Mexican Restaurant world that earned my patronage. If I remember correctly, they used to have live music playing in the dining room. Tonight they had an ipod. I should have asked if the live music went away with the remodel, maybe next time I'll find out. However, the playlist they had going was a mix of what the live band would have been playing, but also thrown in was some mondo lounge and some old surf en espanol. It wasn't offensive, I just hate it when places proudly display their ipod out like you actually care. Anyway, the decor tried to stay as close to the original as they could. The hats are there, christmas lights are entwined through the glass shelves holding up the liquor, the colorful yarn folk art hangs next to little donkey pinatas, a nice heavy wooden bar- the kind where you feel safe holding on to after you realize you've had one too many. Except, where you would expect an over-sized velvet Jesus painting, you get an over-sized black and white photo of Dolly Parton. It all seems like a mess, but it's something to talk about.

· Crowd Control. The bar is small, maybe 10 bar stools total. And yet I've never had to wait for a seat. It could be just luck, or that a Tuesday night at 8:30pm is not a really busy time for a bar, in a Mexican Restaurant. Our party pretty much filled up the room. One patron came in and began writing in his notebook at the end of the bar, apparently journaling too. It didn't start to pick up until 9:30 when a couple came in.

· Location. When more customers starting trickling in, it was time for us to leave. Not because of more people, but because we had a movie to catch at the Vista. This place makes a great alternative to the Good Luck or Tiki Ti (which is a crapshoot whether or not it will even be open when you want a drink) when you want to get a quick drink before a movie. However you probably won't be able to get a drink after, unless you see an early show.

CONS:

· It's not a dark cave of a bar anymore. This remodel opened it up more to the restaurant making it lighter and brighter, which sucks. I liked the closed in, almost suffocating feeling, of cheap decorations hanging near your head as waiters came dangerously close to you with large trays of hot food.

· The fear that those 10 bar stool will all be full when all you want is a quick drink. On the one hand, I like an intimate bar setting, on the other, when it's too small you always run the risk of having to drink over someone's shoulder. So here El Chavo runs pretty favorably in my eyes. One bizarre question though was answered this night. The Dolly Parton photo on the wall? Well, taped to the cash register is a regular snapshot of her just standing at the bar. The waiter responded with "It's Dolly Parton's bar". Not an owner, just a patron. And that's why they lovingly display her blowup mug on the wall.

The Redwood Bar and Grill - 316 W. 2nd St., Los Angeles, CA 90012

SIMON'S TAKE:
There's something depressing and bad about this place, one of those bars that's attempting to be four different things at once in an effort to appeal to all Los Angeles social contingents while actually not appealing to any. It's like a stand-up comedian who's not getting any laughs with his jokes and so he starts desperately dancing and smashing watermelons.

And it really is difficult to say exactly what isn't working here; the bar is dark, well furnished and nice, the booths are comfortable, and our waitress (who gave us her name, like, four times, but no one remembered it) was attentive and knowledgeable, even pointing out the owner to us when he slunk in with his head lowered to drink for free at his own bar.

Maybe it was the shitty house bands, which ranged from loud rock music when we got there, a quiet female singer-songwriter when were eating, to some old white Los Angeles "blues" guy by the time we left, again ensuring that absolutely no one there was happy with the music. Maybe it was the menu, which I would describe as barely adequate for a bar with the word "Grill" in its name. Or maybe it was just the sparse Monday night crowd, with about a 6:1 guy-girl ratio (not that our table of creepy dudes was helping).

I think I would sum it up with my trip to the restroom. I walked the entire length of the bar, had to walk directly in front of the sad, white Los Angeles blues musician as he played his sad, white blues to approximately no one, and as I stepped into the bathroom, I almost collided with a tall guy wearing a dark suit. "Um," he said, "The big toilet's not working." And sure enough, as I stepped into the bathroom, I discovered that its sole toilet was clogged with feces and overflowing onto the floor. This kind of undermined the classy vibe that the Redwood seems to be going for, but, on the other hand, it's nice to think that some things about downtown Los Angeles will never change.

Beers on draft: Bud Light, Pabst, Stella Artois, Boddingtons, Guinness, Bass, Blue Moon, and Craftsman Hefeweizen.
- Simon B.

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EVAN'S TAKE:

“You really shouldn’t have come on Cinco De Mayo” the friendly waitress confided in me several minutes after we stepped inside. She was probably right. Who the hell goes to a nautical/pirate themed bar on Cinco De Mayo? It was my idea, so I’ll take the blame this time.

Finding the Redwood was very easy, and I managed to get parking directly in front of the place. The interior is filled with anchors, nets, and even a series of cool paintings depicting ships being pulled down by lovecraftian like giant squid creatures. I really dug the décor. It was reminiscent of one of my favorite bars, the HMS Bounty… but with a slightly confused modern edge (which might have to do with the designer being responsible for the look of the Los Feliz restaurant Fred 62s). The place is dark, which I always love, and you can get fairly remote seating, so to not be bothered by all of the louder drunks sitting at the bar (or the band). Nobody was there when we arrived at 10:00pm, and it stayed that way for a while. More people began to drift in around 11:30ish. The first band was a truly lousy and much too loud blues/rock band that apparently plays there every Monday. I didn’t mind the later acts as much… and even thought the last one, the “LA White Blues Guy” to be sort of appropriate for the place. Apparently some legitimate musicians (a member of the Tom Waits band) play on different days of the week. The waitress emphatically pushed that beyond it being Cinco De Mayo, we really should have been there on any other day of the week… and she seemed earnest. For all I know on another day the music is much better, and there are more people in the joint.

The clientele was oddly difficult to categorize. A few dyke/punk/indie girls were in and out, and a birthday party seemed to be going on outside. A couple obvious regulars sat at the bar. I spotted a couple girls walking around sort of dressed like pirates… and was informed that it was pirate night. I’d earlier seen a couple guys with dreaded hair, and had mistaken them for just one of those freaky burning man guys, or maybe some peace punk variation, but I guess they were going for a Jack Sparrow look, and failing miserably. This pirate subculture is something that perplexes, and yet surprisingly doesn’t annoy me. I understand why people would want to be a pirate… I just don’t understand why they would want to dress like one in modern times. Maybe I do slightly resent the fact that I even had to type out…”pirate subculture”.

Service was fan-fucking-tastic. There’s an unpretentious bartender would answered any questions, and was very prompt. Our waitress was quite likeable and present. Usually servers have a real bitch-fit when they have to separate a bill, but she even suggested it… which earned her major points in my book. My salmon burger was really good… the spicy French fries were delicious, and the beers were great.

This is definitely a weird bar… and I can’t say that I left feeling 100% about it, but the service is REALLY good, and the place has a cool look going. I do think that if we were there on a different night it would have been closer to a home-run, but regardless I had a good time, and would suggest it to people who want to just shoot the shit in a strange looking place for an hour or two. Not a place to go to meet girls or do anything overly social, but they do try to take care of their customers there, and I place that above most things when it comes to bars.

- Evan K

The Wine Bar at the Landmark - 10850 W. Pico Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90064

Kind of like drinking at a bar in an airport or museum, this sterile, nicely lit bar is actually located within an arthouse multiplex, which itself is located within a shopping mall in West L.A. Difficult to describe the crowd because I've never seen more than ten people there. The architecture is very cool, the oak ceiling tapering to the floor on one end like an attic room, and the bar is supposedly a lounge for moviegoers, meaning you can just sit on a comfortable couch and watch sports on the big screen television while waiting for your movie to start and no one will bother you. The bartender we spoke with was both knowledgeable and friendly. As for drink selection, well, it's a wine bar, with a good list of bottled beers, including a full range of my favorite Unibroue ales, but nothing on draft. There's a fair selection of wine with an expansive price range; cheapest glass was $7, most expensive was $100, so, you know, whatever. I saw an appetizer menu as well, but no place for a kitchen, so I wouldn't risk it. Due to the fact that it's an attempt at an atmospheric lounge located within a multiplex that faces out onto escalators and a snack bar, this is possibly the worst bar in America to try to pick up women or socialize in any capacity, but if you absolutely have to get wasted before seeing an art film and you forgot to bring your flask, this will certainly do.

As an inauspicious beginning to this feature, we were unable to drink a second beer at this bar because it closes at 11 p.m. and the movie we intended to drink before and after, Errol Morris' documentary "Standard Operating Procedure," didn't get out until about 11:50. Incidentally, "Standard Operating Procedure" is absolutely the least enjoyable movie in the history of cinema to see with a light buzz.

- Simon B.

Why is this happening, and why should you care?

You shouldn't care really. Practically everything has user reviews: bars, restaurants, microwave dinners... even dates nowadays. If something exists, you can usually find a review on it. I'm creating this blog for selfish reasons. As much I can scan the web for hours, and read tons and tons of reviews... I can't seem to find a definitive list of bars that I would enjoy, or even a good reference guide warning me from ever entering a bar that just the briefest exposure would make me want to remove my head from my shoulders with a thousand butter knives. Everything is too disparate, a million disconnected voices, all with their own set of prejudices, likes, dislikes... baggage. I want a limited set of voices and personalities to prevail here... in particular, my friends, people that seem to have good taste. This blog will have a variety of contributors... but I'm sure I will agree with most of their opinions, because I respect their opinions...

The other reason I'm starting this blog, is because I have issues. I have a fear of driving in Los Angeles. The freeways here creep me out, and I'm always getting lost. In consequence, I don't feel like I've been fully experiencing this place. I've been here almost four years now, and there's a handful of bars that I enjoy, but most of them are limited to my neighborhood, or several other neighborhoods that I've lived in since I've moved here. I need an incentive to get in my car and go someplace new. Nothing is out of bounds here, a Van Nuys strip mall dive, or a high class hotel bar downtown. I want to see it all.

For each entry we will try to really capture a bar, not just first impressions... or a shallow once-over. I want to know this place, inside and out. What was the bartender like? Did I crash and burn when I hit on the person sitting next to me? Does the place smell weird? Is the food good? Any interesting history to the place? What are my chances of getting beat up in the parking lot? I'll also never drink more then two beers. I'm not holding the other contributors to this... because it derives from my total fear of getting a D.U.I., something which has also held me back from driving too far to get to a brand new drinking hole. Limiting myself to two beers takes away the fear.
-Evan K.